i went out with tishina the other night and had a wonderful time.

i had had a very stressful morning. richard was trying to prove a point in psychotherapy by using colette's example of how she had to drop a friendship to say that ashley should be careful with what he thought was a similar friend. the point was, the two friends were not similar at all, and richard really didn't seem to see that and kept pressing her to think of it through colette's point of view, and then michelle lost it and started yelling and it was just so tense. i was shaking. i was really glad when it was over. how that is therapeutic, i do not know. i hate psychotherapy.

but the rest of my day was good.

i picked up one of my women in the renaissance textbooks which had arrived at the u of w bookstore, then met tishina at stella's cafe on portage for afternoon tea (which is what i'm calling a meal one eats at 2:30 pm). i had the cafe breakfast. it was delicious. and i had the classic cheesecake covered in stella's jam. it was very very good. we exchanged gifts. she got me a VERY delicious white chocolate with orange truffle godiva chocolate bar, a marie antoinette makeup bag, and a book called "becoming marie antoinette". she knows of my marie antoinette obsession apparently. lol. we went to velo after, and lounged around, and i picked up the royal diaries book that i had ordered: "sondok: princess of the of moon and stars". it's set in Korea in the mid 500s AD. so interesting.

we waited for kirstie to be done work and then tishina left and kirstie and i exchanged gifts and she got me chain mail earrings! they're really pretty, with purple links in among the silver. i had to explain what chain mail was to my grandmother today. lol. that was fun.

i narrowly missed the second concert of some middle school coming to perform for the poor mentally ill people. thank God. i already have to live in the hospital, please don't make me feel like a senior citizen. but at least i got some more headway with the housing issue. i finished manitoba housing application completely and also sara riel. we'll see who gets back to us first. with manitoba housing, i could end up living in either charleswood (which has a superlong waiting list) or fort rouge, and i think i get more freedom of choice with sara riel. either way, nothing's happening over christmas, but now that i've at least got all the paperwork done, i've taken care of social assistance also, i can just sit back and enjoy the holidays.

also, today is sherlock holmes day, when the second sherlock holmes movie comes out and alicia and i go see it, dressed up like we're victorian men. and we're exchanging gifts. i love gifts. i wish i was rich enough to buy gifts for people alllllll the time.


okay, i don't know why, but i'm shaking really bad. i have to stop.

It's been a long time since I've used this account. A lot has happened. On August 18th, I was readmitted to Grace General Hospital on the Psych Ward, and I was on suicide watch. I was subsequently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder and Panic Disorder, as well as my original Bipolar. I've been working on said disorders very hard (and let me tell you, it is damn hard work), and I've been staying at the hospital. I am currently there. It is actually my home now, as I no longer live with my grandparents or my parents. I'm waiting on Manitoba Housing and Social Assistance. It's sort of weird to be in this position and I know my family's not happy that I'm in it, but it's where I'm at right now, so what can I do about it? I'm much much better than I was this summer, and despite the fact that I will be spending my Christmas season in the Psych ward, I'm looking forward to the holidays this year. This year will be a new start for me, a fresh beginning. I'm terrified and excited and guilty and fed up all at the same time, and I really really hope and pray that me moving out on my own (which is the next step) goes well and was a wise decision. And now, for your viewing pleasure:

Open your music player of choice for the soundtrack of the movie of your life. Put it on shuffle. The song that comes up for each entry is the song for that part of the movie of your life. Enjoy!

( i can't get enough of these )

yes i love the plot of this movie, but i am also in love with the cinematography, the scenery, and how elizabeth deals so patiently with her imperfect family.

i'm reading a book about books. literature about literature. "english literature: modern" by g.h. mair was first published in 1911, and the style is eloquent and engaging. i found this little gem at bison books, a lovely used bookstore on graham. this book is my travelling companion in green linen jacket.

                                

I'm sitting in my class right now, bored out of my skull. The History of Britain from 1485 should be way more interesting than this. It's a very dry lecture style class without powerpoint (which I can live without, but which helps when it comes to studying), and the most boring textbook I have ever read (other than that Varieties of English textbook I read my first year of University). On the other hand, when I'm relating the particulars of one of the events in this period of history, I absolutely love it. So the content is interesting, it's just the way it's presented that makes it boring.

Here's a picture I took of spring buds in Assiniboine Park. Taking a cue from copperflame, this is my happy thought for the day (I'm trying to get my thinking on a more positive track):

I started my Spring course today. I have two thick textbooks, a looming ten page research paper, and i'm about $800.00 poorer. But I love British history, so this should still be good. I looked at the syllabus, and some weeks, I will have to read SIX CHAPTERS A WEEK. Capitals needed. Crazy! Time to get obsessed with British history.




 

Well Monday commences a new semester: Spring courses. I currently have not paid for my course, have no textbooks, no locker, and won't be able to stay for the entire first class. However, I look on it with hope, as I see it as one more step closer to a life of normalcy. After all I went through last year, it's nice to finally be getting back into the swing of books and even of frenzied paper-writing times. This promises to be a very studious summer, something I don't mind at all. I'll probably be spending a lot of time at Chapters.

I haven't written poetry in a long time, but I have done the first draft of an outline for my novel. It's looking to be more of an Intermediate to Teen reading level, something I was unsure of before, and the little knots in the story are starting to work themselves out. I'm still not sure how exactly Nathan is stymied the first time before the big finale, but I know how the ending will work and as long as you have an ending to work towards, it makes it a lot easier.

I was up at 4:30 am to watch the Royal Wedding this morning, with Alicia and her mom. It was a very elegant wedding, but I was SO tired today. Thankfully a venti Starbucks doubleshot on ice did the trick. The thing is, now I'm awake, and I need to sleep because I'm working eight and a half hours tomorrow. (Joy). Don't get me wrong, I love my job, that's just a long time when you're used to four and five hour shifts. Looks like I'll get to see all the different phases of the day. We have less people tomorrow than usual on a Saturday  because others are helping paint the Chalmers Community Centre, so I'm sort of apprehensive about how busy it will be. But if it's busy, at least the time will go by fast (hopefully).

Also: Tishina comes home tonight. I am so excited. It'll be nice to have her home

I haven't done one of these posts in a long time. Things have been sort of crazy for me for a while, but now that they're starting to hit a normal rhythm again, I hope to do more blogging.

I had the opportunity a few months back to do a photo shoot of the bedroom of the lovely Aravis, exclusively for this blog. What I love about her room's style is the mixture of medieval and fantasy. I also love her swords. Enjoy.




                                                     
I love these daggers. The bone one is
          
                                                                                                                                                     Lancelot's Sword

Glamdring

The Master Sword from Zelda

A freaking awesome dagger

My favourite dagger

Whenever I step into Aravis' room, I feel like I've been transported to another time (and I also feel very well protected with all those swords haha).